Sunday, April 26, 2009

One on one time

D: Last weekend I had one of the best days, spent as a parent. And then this weekend, I has a similarly spectacular day, but for different reasons. Last week, I was with Finn for 4 hours, just he and I. This weekend was spent with Ollie. I had such a great time with each of my sons! I’m not sure how this is going to sound, but I honestly felt as if I were just getting to know them individually for the first time.

Taking the much-appreciated suggestion from Tracy, W and I decided it was important for us to carve out some one on one time with each child. Playing zone defense when one of us is absent, or even when it’s two on two, can get overwhelming during this challenging age. But we are also learning that it’s an age that is filled with many wonderful moments of development and wonder… those moments are just harder to savor and appreciate when your attention is being pulled away towards the other child.

Don’t get me wrong. We love our family time, all 4 of us together. It’s how we roll. We’re good at it, and we all have a lot of fun together. It actually is hard for W and I to leave each other to each go and do fun things apart… because we’d rather go and do them together. But recently I have realized that not only were we missing out on the chance to have some valuable encounters with our kids, the boys are also missing out on the chance to have their parents attention 100% on them.

And so, when we have the chance to get some one on one time with the boys, this is what’s most important to me… the ability to completely let any and everything else go and be entirely in the moment with that child. I always try to be in the moment when I’m with both of them… I let work, house cleaning, errands, etc. fall by the way side… and I simply get down on the floor and ‘play’. But from their perspective, they never really have my undivided attention. And until now, I didn’t really realize how different they behave around me when they are not always fighting for my attention. It’s amazing, and that’s what I mean by ‘getting to know them for the first time’.

Not only do they behave better (less tantrums, less defiant, more agreeable), but also each one of them communicates with me more, and seems more at peace and able to just ‘hang out’ in one place for a long period of time. This is, I’m sure, because they do not have to feel rushed to keep up with their twin, or not swayed to push their brother’s buttons or fight for what’s due.

Finn and I walked along the beach and collected rocks to throw in the water. We were able to do this task at his pace, which I’ve never really realized is so methodical. We went for a hike and I let him lead me, allowing him to pick and choose whichever path he wanted to go down. Ollie and I went down to the Pike Place Market. He stopped at every busker on the crowded sidewalk and smiled at them and danced along to their music. We also shared a pastry across from each other at a busy coffee shop and people-watched for almost 30 minutes with no highchair or straps! Then we walked hand in hand down to the pier to watch the boats come in and wave at ever single person getting off the ferry.

These excursions have allowed me to see what my children are capable of, as individuals. I am so proud of who they are becoming and love each of them so differently. I am so glad that W and I are able to have the chance to devote all of our love and attention to each one of them individually, and that we now realized just how valuable these opportunities are.

Posted by Walker Lockhart @ 2:59 PM :: (6) comments

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter Bunnies

With the help of our Au Pair and a couple of ski goggle (the boys new FAVORITE clothing item), the Deuce were transformed into two little easter bunnies, bouncing all over the house when I got home the other day!


Posted by Walker Lockhart @ 10:19 PM :: (1) comments

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Bring on the Embarrassment

D: Hello language explosion! It’s finally here…yippee! Everyone said it was right around the corner, but that corner was beginnings to seem pretty far down the road for my boys. Alas, in the last week both boys are repeating just about any thing that comes out of our mouths and forming cute little broken sentences left and right.

Finn walks around the house pointing at everything, and naming it. Which I suppose is what I’ve been doing for the last few months, so it might be a while before he realizes that’s now how we really talk.

They’ve also started pointing at things and asking, “what’s that?” And then it’s our turn to tell them what it is and then they repeat it back to us. Then they repeat that word all day long.

Well, this morning, when they were getting dressed Finn leaned over to Ollie and pointed at his nipple and said “boobie” very clearly and intently.


Although I don’t remember giving him that word, I’m going to give my darling husband the benefit of the doubt and say that it could’ve been either one of us sarcastically naming his nipple ‘boobie’.

Ollie got a kick out of this word uttered by his brother, so he pointed to Finn’s chest and he said “boobie”. They both rolled over with laughter. I admit, it was pretty funny so I started laughing as well. But then they turned it to me… pointing to my chest and chanting “boobie, boobie!”

Uh, oh.

Suddenly I find myself trying to problem solve how to avoid any unnecessary “boobie” chanting in public! Any suggestions?

And if I tell them it’s actually a ‘nipple’, is that really any better?

Posted by Walker Lockhart @ 10:27 PM :: (2) comments