Tuesday, June 19, 2007

muttering "f*cking breeders"

W: First, I apologize. I know this post will inevitably offend someone, me being me, so I'm starting with an apology. This blog post, as you may be able to tell from the title involves a certain "f" word. It also involves the Deuce, D, and couple of goth/raver kids. Don't worry, it's funny.

The second caveat is that D and I absolutely love Seattle. I don't want folks thinking that I'm bitching about my fellow Seattle people - I'm not. On the contrary, D and I wouldn't trade our city and all its little quirks for the world -- and yes, that includes our two young foul-mouthed goth/raver kids.

You see, D and I are late-era American Gen Xers, a generation roughly defined as those souls born betwix 1965 and 1978. And while we missed our generation's slacker and hardcore angst periods, we still vividly remember the '80s, and in the '90s, we turned 20, finished college, and moved to Seattle, the original Gen X city.

A bit thankfully, we missed grunge, but were here for the first dot com boom and bust, and we even went to a few raves along the way. I guess what I'm saying is that we've seen a bunch of funny trends, and neither of us ever got too wrapped up in any of them. It's not that we don't like the trends - we absolutely do, but it is because they provide the color.

When I moved here, the city seemed so young. Two things were hard to find: native Seattlites and old people. And a decade later city still seems young. Maybe it's the lack of sun that keeps Seattle faces fresh and toned. I don't know, but what I do know is that living in a young city has a price: There is a lack of kid-friendly restaurants in this city.

Which brings me to the story about the goth/raver kids. Last week, D and a friend of ours met for lunch in the Capital Hill neighborhood - an eclectic, fun, and urban part of town that is known for "alternative" lifestyles. I put the word "alternative" in scare quotes because, well, it's silly to call things alternative, isn't it? I don't want to go down that rabbit hole, so I'll just say that Capital Hill is known for being liberal and gay-friendly, but it's also much more than that. It's the happening part of town, and as such, it skews even younger than most other neighborhoods in liberal, gay-friendly Seattle.

The restaurant where they met for lunch was cramped and uncomfortable, mainly because of the Deuce and their requisite gear. But D is a determined city-dwelling parent, and she forged on despite the obstacles.

The lunch conversation naturally turned to how Seattle has so few kid-friendly restaurants. At that point in the conversation, our friend, who works at a popular Capital Hill restaurant, shared a dirty little secret: Many of her co-workers absolutely and openly despise determined city-dwelling parents who tote their kids to crowded hipster restaurants.

And that wasn't all. They have a derogatory word us: "Breeders."

Unfamiliar with the word "breeder" used in that context, D was astonished. ("Breeders? Wow. Really?") The conversation drifted and then, like all lunch dates, theirs ended. D, while pondering her new vocabulary word, walked the Deuce back to the car in the super-long stroller. At that moment, Deuce-wise, all hell broke loose. For our Seattle readers, this next scene went down on Broadway in the middle of the afternoon (!!). For our non-local readers, Broadway is the main drag, the epicenter of "alternative hipster" Seattle - there's just a lot going on.

So there was D, on Broadway at her car with an enormous double stroller. O started first. It was immediately and abundantly clear that he needed his diaper changed 10 minutes ago. Unfazed, D whipped out a diaper and started to change O on the front passenger seat with F in the stroller. And then F started to cry.

Again unfazed, D firmly planted one foot on the sidewalk and rocked the stroller with her free foot while she simultaneously changed O. And then, right as she removed Ollie's diaper, she realized she did not have a bag to put the diaper in so we could return it to the cloth diaper service. So D, yet again unfazed, put the dirty diaper on the sidewalk next to her firmly planted foot, continued to change O and rock Finn with her only remaining free limb.

Now pause for a second here, one would think that this scene would engender sympathy for the thoroughly taxed new young mother of twins. But recall the setting: It's the epicenter of Seattle alterna-hip. And right as D finished freshly diapering O, she looked up and caught the gaze of a couple of young goth/raver kids walking by, peering out of their black eye shadow at her, the Deuce, and the dirty diaper lying next to her firmly planted foot on the sidewalk.

And one goth/raver, lip predictably pierced, muttered to the other just loud enough for D to hear, "Fucking breeders."

Cut, end scene.

Seriously now, Seattle parenting doesn't get any better than that for us late-vintage Gen Xers. We love it. I mean, what are the chances of learning that the term "breeder" is used pejoratively to describe you, the new urban Gen X parent, and then 15 minutes later have the same word hurled at you as an "insult" by some goth/raver kids? As I said before, it's the color.

That evening I came home and D couldn't wait to tell me the story. We laughed and laughed, and then I made her tell me the story again, and we laughed some more.

Yep, that's us, fucking breeders.

Posted by Walker Lockhart @ 10:02 PM

Read or Post a Comment

We're proud to be members of that club too! We got booted out of Ipanema downtown b/c we couldn't finish our food fast enough and we got kicked out of SAM b/c they don't permit double strollers!!! Let's revolt-Viva Revolucion!!!

Posted by Blogger NGUYEN FAMILY BLOG @ Wednesday, June 20, 2007 12:53:00 PM #

I know this isn't the point of your post, but you should check out http://www.vioscafe.com. It's kid friendly.

There's an area out front for breastfeeding.


Posted by Anonymous Anonymous @ Wednesday, June 20, 2007 8:28:00 PM #

hey guys,

stick it to 'em by having the deuce wear those lock up your daughters shirts: http://www.poshbaby.com/.

hang tough,


Posted by Blogger J + T Silverman @ Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:14:00 PM #

The good news is the raving/goth hipsters you mentioned who hate "the breeders" should only be around for a generation or so. Now THAT is is the coolest disregard for ones future I have ever heard.
Thanks for the updates guys,

Posted by Blogger THE ROSTER: @ Thursday, June 21, 2007 1:46:00 PM #

i am not familiar with the area you are in as we come from a very small town in maine, but the story sounded quit funny, and i guess i too would fall into the "breeder" crowd. wouldn't they love to see me with two older kids, plus a double stroller with twins! anyway, i'm glad you could see the positive side of that....very funny!!! i thoroughly enjoyed your post!

Posted by Blogger Doug & Stacy Fournier @ Friday, June 22, 2007 8:26:00 AM #

Tonight at dinner we'll raise our glasses and give a toast to all of the fucking breeders in this world.

Posted by Blogger Carrie & Brook @ Friday, June 22, 2007 10:03:00 AM #
<< Home