Thursday, June 05, 2008

Don’t Look Away

D: Today, while I was putting the kids down for their nap, F (per the usual) was letting me know that he was in need of a bit more lovin’ from me before he was ready to go down. So, as O slept peacefully beside us in his crib, I sat with F and rocked him in the dark while quietly humming his favorite song (Rainbow Connection… the Willie Nelson version). It was not long before I felt F’s tiny body completely relax in my arms.

Once my eyes became fully adjusted to the darkness, I looked down expecting to see a sleeping toddler snoozing away. Instead, F’s eyes were open wide and intently peering up at his mama. I returned his gaze and held it for quite some time; just as we had done so many times when he was nursing as an infant. I was reminded of all those nights and sleepy afternoons, when I would look down and see 2 sets of eyes examining every characteristic of my face. I too was studying each feature on each of my children, trying to burn each vision onto my eternal memory card inside my brain.

Today, as I continued to hold F’s gaze it occurred to me how long it had been since we’ve been locked in this kind of moment. I suddenly felt like someone had taken our family’s clock and hit fast forward. In my opinion, raising toddlers is much more fun than raising babies but it also goes by incredibly faster. There are much less chances to pause and just ‘be’ with one another. I felt my grip on F tighten as tears began to fall down my face; all the while my little boy was still looking up at me peacefully. I wondered if he was as entranced in my arms and my song as I am in him.

I don’t know how many moments I will have like this with my children, so I treasured it as it was the last. (I also then remind myself to do the same with all our cherished moments.) I was unaware of how much time had passed before I watched his little eyes close, and as he drifted off to sleep I whispered a ‘thank you’ before gently put him to bed.

Posted by Walker Lockhart @ 2:02 PM

Read or Post a Comment

Your Twins are Adorable!
I have enjoyed reading about them and looking at all of your beautiful pictures!!!

Posted by Blogger Daddy Dale and Mommy Jen @ Thursday, June 05, 2008 2:19:00 PM #


Posted by Blogger jsdc @ Thursday, June 05, 2008 2:36:00 PM #

Thanks for the reminder...that was a lovely and moving post.

Posted by Blogger Krissy @ Friday, June 06, 2008 12:58:00 PM #

My girls are just 6 months and I feel time moving incredibly fast. I feel like i was hlding my 4 pounders just yesterday. You almost made me cry.

Posted by Blogger elana @ Saturday, June 07, 2008 8:08:00 PM #

What an absolutely beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing something so precious with everyone reading your blog.

Posted by Blogger TONYA @ Sunday, June 08, 2008 7:58:00 PM #

Beautifully put! I love those moments, and like you realize how few and far between they are getting.

Posted by Blogger bestfamily @ Tuesday, June 10, 2008 1:49:00 PM #

Awwww...that made tears come to MY eyes. Toddlers rock in comparison to infants, but you are right about there being fewer "moments". My daughter still gives them to me regularly, but my son rarely stays still long enough.

Posted by Blogger Amy @ Monday, June 30, 2008 6:16:00 PM #
<< Home