Friday, May 30, 2008

That Unbearable Lightness Thing

W. Hiya. Been awhile. Sorry about that.

So, we did it. We went away for a mom & dad only vacation (to Mexico!). It was our first trip in a LONG time. Seriously, the last trip we took together was up to the San Juan Islands when, upon our return (and on our 2nd anniversary, no less), D presented me with a surprise anniversary gift: a positive pregnancy test. But that's a different story. This story is about this trip.

The occasion for this trip was a wedding. Our dear friends Shane and Stephanie tied the knot in grand fashion (as is their way) on the beaches of the Yucatan Peninsula. A giant reunion on the beach, the force of which still hasn't quite registered since we're still basking in the sunny glow of all the love and exuberance of the whole affair. We'll be talking about this wedding for years and years, that's for sure.

One of the wonderful things about Shane and Stephanie's story is that it is a story of reunion - they dated, drifted apart, realized it was meant to be, and returned to one another. The distance between them during their time apart helped them to clearly see that they were beholden to one another.

Isn't it funny - with greater distance, it's sometimes easier to see what's right in front of us and what's deep in our hearts. It's the perspective, I guess. And in the same way, the distance we traveled away from our boys for the first time helped us put new perspectives on our journey into parenthood.

Of course, we'll remember it as our first trip away from our little guys. They were tended to (and doted on) by their loving grandparents and our superstar au pair. The ratio was still 3 on 2 (which is a fair match for the Deuce). The boys were in wonderful, capable, loving hands, so we didn't have anything to worry about.

And we didn't worry. Seriously. But what a grip the little guys have on us!

Every intimate conversation between us over the trip inevitably turned to the boys - what they were doing, how they were doing. We'd mimic their expressions and make each other laugh and laugh. And when we were with all our friends, if they didn't turn the conversation to the boys, we did.

But that's just the outward stuff. The real kicker is what's going on inside these new parental brains. Privately. Synapses firing alone.

Then, you really feel it. We've completely been rewired. Every thing we do has a filter. All my senses - it's the boys. All my thoughts - they're right there.

A walk on the beach turns to thoughts of when the boys will walk on the beach for the first time. A swim in the ocean - I can't wait to show them the ocean! Diving off a platform - oh man, I just know the boys are going to love this as much as I do.

Snorkeling, the colorful fish, the warm breezes, hot sand, the smell of sun tan lotion on clothes, catching a wave at just the right time. Watching kids play soccer in the town square, I see F & O, six years from now, playing as hard as they can play. When I throw a frisbee, they're thowing a frisbee.

Ah, well, you get my point - a little distance goes a long way. (And we had a great time too!)


Posted by Walker Lockhart @ 8:37 AM

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what a wonderful way to explain this journey. tim and i are a few months behind you with your twins and have yet to travel away from them, but we find ourselves doing the same. they are an inevitable part of every private conversation....and that just feels right. yesterday as we were cleaning out the backseat of all their refuse (like, 2 boxes of cheerios) i glanced at the backseat of our subu, absent of their hulking car seats. and i mentioned to tim i had not seen it like that in a long time. and our life is so much richer for it...dirty car and all.

glad you had a wonderful trip. thanks for sharing.

Posted by Blogger mames @ Monday, June 02, 2008 7:50:00 AM #

Wow! What a wonderful gift of insight that trip was. I am glad for you that you took it. And...congratulations on the other gift! I can't wait to hear more about that.

Posted by Anonymous Memphislis @ Wednesday, June 04, 2008 6:08:00 AM #

Oh, damn. I misread and thought you were telling us you were pregnant again! :(

Posted by Anonymous Memphislis @ Wednesday, June 04, 2008 4:30:00 PM #

Your boys are ADORABLE!!! I wanted to let you know that I have twin cards that you might be interested for their next birthday or holiday. I look forward to reading more of your blog and starting from the begninning. My boys will be 3 in August and what a ride it has been already!


Posted by Blogger Gemini Greetings @ Wednesday, June 04, 2008 4:58:00 PM #
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