Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Fair Warning
W: It's been a little while since I've jotted down any thoughts or observations on being the newly minted Sheriff of Twin Town. A quick check on the old calendar shows that the Deuce arrived exactly four months ago yesterday. They're doing great, and we're having a blast with the little guys.
We're in a constant state of flux here in Twin Town, which is good because it keeps us on our toes. Flexibility is the key, let me tell you. But every now and then, just when I think it is safe, I slowly move off my toes, and I let my guard down a little. That's exactly what happened when D, the Deuce, and I were at a large dinner reception two weeks ago - I let my guard down.
Here's what happened. We were at the reception, and of course, the Deuce was garnering all the attention being the cute little cuddle-monkeys that they are. People are attracted to twins like moths to a porch light, I swear, and our porch light is especially bright. Then, from across the courtyard, an older woman and her friend strolled up, greeted us, and asked to see the twins. That was nice. Well, it was nice until the woman started talking.
After a few pleasantries, ("Are they identical?" "How big where they when they were born?" "Gosh, you must have been big!") the next thing I know, this older woman looked straight to D and asked, "Are you a stay-at-home mom?" I glanced at D - we'd just talked about how difficult going back to work was for her on the ride to the reception. "No," D said, "I'm going back to work next week."
The woman, now looking faux-concerned said, "Oh, no! But who is going to look after these babies?" D, now with an icy glare said in an equally chilly voice, "We're taking them to a absolutely wonderful day care." The woman curled her lip and had the audacity to say, "Well, that's too bad." And she and her friend walked off.
I was floored. My mouth was wide open. I turned to D and asked if she was OK before the full extent of the conversation had even registered in my brain. It happened so fast. I turned back around to see if the woman was there, but she was gone.
In hindsight, it was one of those situations where it was probably best that I wasn't remotely prepared for a face-to-face verbal attack on my wife and our parenting. I mean, it was the last thing you'd expect, right? But damn, if that happens again, the Deuce is going into "earmuffs" mode, and I'm going to make a few pointed suggestions for such a person because this Sheriff ain't happy if momma ain't happy.
Read or Post a Comment
I had this crap happen to me at Costco last weekend. Sometimes people just don't know when to keep their mouth's shut. As if returning to work isn't hard enough when you've got two little ones (I shall experience this on June 4th)...you don't need strangers butting into your business.
Honestly! Where do people get off? You have stories on the news about people standing by and watching as an old man gets beat up by some teenagers, yet total strangers feel it appropriate to come up to moms and judge the (perfectly reasonable and TOTALLY personal) choices they make for their families. ARGH!
It's bad enough the way you feel "on display" when pregnant (with two, especially). I can only imagine the ridiculous things people will feel the need to say to me once I'm hauling two babies around...
AUGH!... what an idiot. Dana, please do not let this woman's thoughtless judgement affect you.
If you it makes you feel any better, this very thing has happened to me for making a different decision-- choosing to be a stay-at-home mom. I hear "Don't you work?!" & "What do you DO all day?!" and more subtle forms of the same sentiment from men, as well as other mothers, much more frequently than I ever expected. (So much for my feminist expectation we enlightened women view "feminism" as being about a woman's right to make her *own* choices!)
My point is, this decision is a "no-win" as far as what other people think. But who cares what anyone thinks. Motherhood is the source of constantly increasing joy whatever you choose. Just trust your instincts!!! (And maybe come up with a few zinger comebacks in case you encounter another bonehead comment like this woman's ;).
I have NO doubt you are a fantastic mom. Ken & I are amazed at your resiliency & positivity. And the 3 of us love to read your stories & see photos of the "baby twins," as Caroline calls them.
I hope to meet your beautiful boys one day soon...
deb bailey
That sucks.
She was probably just jealous because she didn't have any choices when she was in your position.
The woman is a thoughtless bitch. Hello from Tokyo--sorry to swear on your blog, but it's true! Aaron says konnichiwa to you Walker.
We all know that "it takes a village" -- well, every village comes with a "village idiot." In spite of probably meaning well, and dispite how much pained the survival from it is... (how do they say?) what doesn't "keel" you makes you stronger.
That's reason 998 why there are two of you. Blessings!