Sunday, December 17, 2006


The hardest part about being an optimist is the devastating shock that hits when you learn that things are not going as planned. Last Wed, as part of a day full of errands and working from home, I had my weekly doctor's visit around 3:00pm. By 4:45 I was staring at the ceiling of room 511, in tears, trying to remember if Walker was going to be home or not to feed the dogs. I kept thinking about all the Christmas presents and shower thank-yous that were in my car, awaiting my next errand to the post office.

It was a pretty dark experience for me, since I couldn't seem to fully understand what was really going on, and I was blind sided with self-pity. The only thoughts that repeatedly went through my head...I can't go home...I can't see my dogs...I can't be with Walker...I have so much left to do before the kids come...I'm not going to be able to breath fresh air for weeks...I'm going to go crazy...I can't go home...

But here I sit, 5 days later, staring at the ceiling of room 511 with a much better perspective on the situation. This is all thanks to my darling husband (my co-optimist), the encouragement and insightful information from the doctors and nurses, and all my great friends who have came by to offer their support, movies, magazines and snacks.

The goal has always been the same…a healthy pregnancy resulting is healthy baby boys. I have now come up with new objectives to reach that goal. The neonatologist really put it in perspective for me yesterday when he said that every day I can stay laying down, with the babies inside me is two days they won't have to spend in an incubator in the NICU. That definitely gives me the determination to fight through the poor-me times. I suppose I am just learning about parental sacrifice a bit early.

So, about my new digs…I’ve got basic cable (25 channels), wi-fi (SO NICE!), a decent view of downtown and the Puget Sound, and no roommate. Walker has stocked my fridge, put up a few framed pictures, hung some Christmas lights and brought in a nice lamp.

If anyone has any suggestions about how to keep myself occupied for the next 5-6 weeks that does not involve daytime TV or solitaire, let me know.

Thanks again to all our friends and family who have been so supportive. It is beyond words of gratitude.

Posted by Walker Lockhart @ 12:23 PM

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I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Just think of it as your first parenting challenge. I have a few suggestions for you that might be at least something to do. Suduko is fun and cheap to buy the books and it's pretty simple to learn. Also, sine you have a computer and I'm going to assume it has a DVD player, join netflix. It's not that expensive and you can have new DVD's every few days, the turn around is fast. Try some TV shows on DVD. I'll recomend a few, but take em or leave them, cause I know everyone is different...Numbers, Alias, Grey's Anatomy and Charmed are all my favorites...oh and Gilmore girls is cute too. Books, read some good books, because thats's somethign you won't have time to do with two babies.....I didn't have time to read when I had each of mine. Ha, there's also a ton of great blogs too read. ;) Anyway good luck and I'll be pulling for you and the boys. Melissa

Posted by Blogger Melissa @ Sunday, December 17, 2006 4:30:00 PM #

I can't recall now how I found your blog, but I've been following your pregnancy and enjoy both perspectives of a couple pregnant with twins.

I realize that this is might be a silly idea, but have you considered playing The Sims? I've found that people who haven't always been avid video gamers love it. It's easy and it's fun. Plus, countless hours fly by without you noticing. Just thought it might be a fun alternative - something to DO instead of just sit and watch. :o)

Posted by Anonymous Emily @ Wednesday, December 20, 2006 5:01:00 AM #

I found your blog when searching for "twins" in the blogspot site. We are expecting twin boys, too. I'm 31 weeks today. I can feel your pain! Although I am not on hospital bed rest, I've had a few "hiccups" along the way. I am struggling between wanting to get comfortable again and wanting these babies to stay on the inside longer! We've got a blog too, although I have not updated it for a couple of weeks. Feel free to look at it:

It is always cool to find younger couples who are having a "surprise" set of twins. We are in Anchorage, AK...and I wish that I knew more expectant twin couples!

Good luck! If you would ever want to email email is seems like we are going through a lot of the same trials and tripulations!

Posted by Blogger Carrie & Brook @ Thursday, December 21, 2006 9:06:00 AM #
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