Saturday, December 30, 2006
Confessions of a soon to be father of twins
Walker: I'm writing this post from the Deuce's nursery, aka "Twin Town," and I have a few confessions to make.
Confession Number 1. Looking around Twin Town, I have no idea what half of the stuff is or how it works. True, I chair the Twin Town Building and Assembly Committee, but Dana is the Chief Procurement Officer - just because I can assemble something does not mean I understand why it is necessary or helpful.
Confession Number 2. I've only held three newborn infants in my life. Three. And the longest amount of time I've held an infant? Under five minutes. That's right, I have less than 15 infant holding minutes under my belt. This fact produces anxiety.
Confession Number 3. My sisters babysat. I delivered newspapers and mowed lawns. I've never been in the sole charge of anyone under the age of seven, for money or otherwise. Is there a new dad dumb questions hotline? Thank heavens (or Al Gore) for the all-knowing power of the Internet.
Confession Number 4. The Twins are identical, and I fear I won't be able to tell them apart. I know, I know, and trust me, I want to believe you when you say that "parents can tell them apart from day one." I've heard it a hundred times, but I'm still 100% certain that I will mix them up. Fortunately, if I don't know, the Deuce won't know, and neither will anyone else.
Confession Number 5. I'm addicted to the snooze button on my alarm clock, and I feel guilty because I wish that the Deuce will come equipped with the same feature.
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I'm the father of identical twin 6 year old boys. I understand your anxiety, they were our first born, and I almost fainted when the nurse told us during my wife's first exam. Even though the boys are identical, the oldest one (by 12 minutes) has a slightly bent ear, and the younger one has a freckle on his chin. Though identical, they still showed individuality physically. Look for this, I'm sure you'll find it, it's been a blessing for us. You'll also find that their behaviors will be slightly different as well. Our biggest struggle was the first year, with multiples they don't do everything at the same time. They may eat/sleep/poop at different times, so obviously this affects your sleep patterns. The most important thing you can do once they're born is keep your relationship with your wife fresh, find a babysitter and use her regularly (we did a date night every other Friday). Remember, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Don't forget to pray.
What first made me suspect that males of the parenting kind recieve a neural-net makeover was my inclination to headbut any car or truck that came too close to my pregnant wife jaynn in the wallmart parking lot. Obviously something was changing.
Having to wash my hands with special tools before holding our son in the icu helped make me intentional in the way I chose the songs that from then on would be our bond: children of the heavenly father, great is they faithfulness, jesus loves me, bright gems for his crown. An icn makes you yearn for songs that can run the gammet from birth to death. Everyday is a new contract of thankfulness for what is given, and every evening gratitude combined with a sense of *having* to turn things over to God who has been in the game much longer, and promises to continue according to his own plans.
Thankfully I have my two boys here with me, snoozing before a trip to Mpls. to see grandpa at the spanns. My sister's daughter was protected everyday of her life, including the day of ultimate protection lifting her above all hurt, sorrow and sighing into rest.
Remember these days of leaning over the crib to ask the question of whether they are breathing -- boy we did that a lot, only for our own need and not theirs. Remember the helplessness -- it is true, but can get fadded by the dust of our own efforts and disappointments. But it is always there.
Every morning we are kids again, and every evening too.
We need good songs and clear vision, and trembling willing hands.
- uncle bruce