Tuesday, November 28, 2006
The Question
Walker: Without a doubt, the most frequently asked question (The Question) of a to-be-twins-parent is, "Do twins run in your family?"
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not annoyed by The Question - I love talking about The Deuce - but I can't tell you how many times per day I answer The Question.
My current statistics show a 1:1 ratio between the number of people who I told we're having twins and the number of people who ask if twins run in our family. The ratio remains 1:1 despite the few folks who don't ask The Question because a few folks who do ask The Question don't believe me and ask twice.
The Question prompted The Answer. The Answer has evolved from longwinded to borderline rude in the span of six months. Back in June, when I learned The Answer to The Question, I was loquacious. The Answer sounded as though it came straight from Dr. Luke's book, When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads. I gushed with all the new twins knowledge.
Yep, way back in June, The Answer involved a cultural mishmash of global statistics, population trends, fertility pills, probabilities, and luck. The Answer originally went something like this:
"Glad you asked! Dana and I, we're having identical twins. And yes, actually, Dana does have twins in her family, but they were identical twins too, and identical twins are absolutely random. Crazy luck, huh? Population statisticians have been keeping the number of identical twins born per pregnancy (1 in 285. Yeah, that seems low, doesn't it?) and the number hasn't changed across populations or the mother's age at all since 1956, the year they started keeping records. Now, fraternal twins is another story. Fraternal twins is genetic, although fertility pills have played significant part in the rise of fraternal twins..."
Now The Answer is much shorter:
"No, twins don't run in our family. We're having identical twin boys. Random happenstance. Crazy luck."
I haven't asked any parents of twins if people continue to ask The Question, but I can foresee that they likely will for the rest of my days, so I better get used to it. I can also foresee The Answer to The Question getting even shorter...
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dana, you look fabulous!!! i don't know about you, but i'm getting a little freaked out by how the next two months will fly by. as far as "the question" goes, it may be a regional thing? folks here in austin seem to be way more concerned with what we'll be naming our munchkins. our lips are sealed, though!
I happened to be talking to my mom on the phone when I read this, so I asked her for you. My brothers are identical and they were born in 1982. She said that people asked her for awhile, until they were about 3 or so and then they stopped asking. She just said yes all the time, so they'd leave her alone, even though it isn't true.
They also asked if she ever slept, if they had their own language, could she tell them apart and the one she hated the most, which one do you get along with more. Oh and the ever popular comment, I'm so glad I don't have twins, I couldn't deal with it. Her answers were: yes they slept throught the night way, way sooner than I had; yeah kinda; of course; and neither, I like the dog the most. And with the I'm glad I don't have twins thing, she said, I'm glad you don't too. She's funny, my mom.
However I think people ask more questions now, because they want to know if you did fertility drugs or not, which isn't their business. But people ask a lot of things that aren't their business.
You can't reply much shorter than "no".
Mine are 2 years, 3 months, and I still get asked EVERY single time someone realizes they are twins. When I reply "no, first set", the follow-up question is usually "Fertility?"